Hello, what has been irritating me lately is that books about guys are written by fifty year old women! Like what? Not only did these women grow up in a different time, they are female and are therefore not an expert on the male brain. My Mother like every good mom bought my sister books about relationships and attraction when she was an early teenager and while my sister should of burned them, she passed them on to me, who read them and cried in pity for a girl who believes such things. As they made me realize the immense need for a group of teenage boys to actually ‘right’ a book anonymously about guys. Anonymously so they’d not feel required to say the whole average talk.
God did not call teenage girls to be nuns (other than being virgins), I believe teenage relationships would be fine if the couple had a solid friendship as a base. So people who say you should not be friends and give the wrong ‘signals’ is why we have a society of girls/guys who are afraid to be a good friends because they are to ruin a good friendship.
This is how I see it if I have a crush on my good friend and it ruins our friendship; then I did not have a good friend in the first place as it can be ruined over that. To be honest, almost all of my close male friends have liked me at one point, and that hasn’t awkwarded me out. Because as I see it if a guy thinks I am awesome enough to have a crush on me I should feel honoured. When an acquaintance likes me it is flattering, but if a guy who knows all my weird quirks, my mistakes, my failures, and my shortcomings and likes me that is amazing! Because all that is going through my mind is: really you choose me? Even after all you know? That’s an honour and that’s why I think it’s important to be friends first.
My best male friend if I dated him I wouldn’t be really surprised by anything he told me, not because I know all his secrets; but I realize he’s pretty messed up, strange, and has done things he regrets. But I still love him for who he is and I know he accepts me also. As he told me after that one secret I thought he’d reject me for, that: “almost nothing you could do or say would ever make me think less of you, I’ve messed up too, I don’t even have a right to think any less of you.” That’s friendship, that’s being there for someone.
On the other hand if a guy is your friend because of what you represent instead of who you are that itself will ruin the friendship sooner than later. The point is to be kind and loving and real with people and you will find friendships that cannot be shaken by our ugly and annoying sides. Then if you can date that person and have a strong and healthy relationship.
So please make relationships based on friendship, and please guys publish books that are really from guys not woman who grew up in the 1960s.
Fruit For Thought,