I had a conversation with my friend Olivia today, she was frustrated at people not believing that what she was feeling was real. She has OCD, but not the stereotypical version of locking the door sixteen times and clicking the switch off and on. Olivia struggles with obsessive compulsive anxiety that makes her believe she has committed ghastly things despite being the most considerate person I’ve ever met. She has come to me before believing she kicked an old lady, put drugs in an ex’s locker, served someone puerile in their coffee and told people she’d sleep with them for favours. And other people think she’s being melodramatic or attention seeking when she really struggles from the guilt of deeds she never performed.
I can understand her mental illness because I’ve experienced what it is like to feel something irrational but believe it is true because it seems impossible for it not to be so. I went years without eating properly because I couldn’t see that I was underweight, because my mind kept feeding me that I was obese. And for someone who has never experienced it, I can see that it can be hard to understand the mindset that Olivia and I are stuck in. And we can’t just snap out of it even when we try. So what you need to know about us is that we’re not trying to get attention, we just need people to understand and listen to us.
If you are ‘okay’ and don’t get how we can mistake such things it doesn’t matter, you don’t need to comprehend to comfort and that’s really what you really should know.