Why I Am Not Jealous

When I’m procrastinating I’ll scroll through my newsfeed on facebook and over and over I see quotes or pictures about relationships that really bother me. This is my top pick of annoyance: I’m a good girlfriend, I will get jealous and a real man will not spend time with other girls. 

How is this okay? Any relationship that is healthy will have a support group of friends and cutting off friendships because of a relationship is a glaring warning sign if I’ve ever seen one. And as a girl with a fair amount of male friends I would look at my boyfriend like he was crazy if he was to tell me that I could not converse with my friends because of their sex. It baffled a few of the guys at my campus last month when they tried to get a reaction out of me by asking me “What would you do if he told you he was hanging out with Jennifer Lawrence?” and I answered “I’d have no problem with it” they looked at me funny so I continued. “If he told me he wanted to hang out with her I’d say sure. If he was like I’m going to go make out with Jen Lawerence, I’d be like ‘ah no’ but I would completely trust him with any girl.” 

Relationships should be built on trust and if you have to be jealous of another girl or guy then maybe you should reconsider your relationship status first. If one does not have a partner he or she can trust the relationship does not need a third party to destroy it. I’ve never been the jealous type, I’m not angered because my partner tells a girl she is beautiful or teases her since he’s allowed to be positive and friendly with others. It actually would be more concerning for me if I was the only person he had a good relationship with.

My brother-in-law adores it when other men compliment my sister. He’s told me stories of men coming up and talking about the sexy brunette and her cute mannerisms when they’ve gone to gatherings. He’ll play it up and let the guy talk his heart out and then give a smile and say “yeah, she’s amazing and I get to take her home because she’s my wife.” Enjoy  your significant other traits that attracted you because they are probably the things that will also build platonic relations. Trust your partner or let them go don’t put your heart through pain every time he or she engages with the opposite gender for more than five minutes at a time.


If she doesn’t get jealous, she doesn’t care

This quote kind of disgusts me beyond anything else. In order to prove that I care about my boyfriend I am expected to not trust him. WHAT?? Throughout my life I never understood this quote and figured that I would understand it when I had a relationship that was more than a fling. But I still don’t get it. The last thing I would expect was that I was being cheated upon or even that another girl had made him forget I existed in his life. I’m not under some daydream that I am the most beautiful or the most interesting person in the world but he knew that when we began. A relationship is not secured on the small talk, compliments and level of appeal. It is about the bond that was created between two people who choose to be together and if it wasn’t working out the person would explain and leave not cheat.

I care a lot about my boyfriend and yet I have never been jealous of him interacting with other girls or anyone else. I can talk about my male friends and he can talk about female friends and we can discuss the attractiveness of celebrities. It does not bother me if he thinks Emma Stone is attractive or Emma Watson is intelligent because they are and I don’t see how that compromises our relationship.

Relish the time you have with your partner and enjoy the time he or she spends with others and do not concern yourself with jealousy unless their is valid reason to not trust them and at that point confront them and then listen. Maybe I’m naive to think that a relationship can be loyal and healthy without constant jealousy and wondering if you will be left. But I’d rather savour my time than waste it with distrust.


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