Letter to Former Me: Things I Would Tell My Adolescent Self

Before I was
That was me in junior high and me in high school and neither of them would recognize the person I am now.

So I am nearly done by first year of college and there is so much I wish I had known before I had hit puberty so that I would not have made stupid decisions throughout high school and before. This is the top things I wish I had known.

To Not Fake It 

I would tell my younger self to enjoy her time and not worry about who was watching because I wasted the majority of my time concerned with how people were perceiving me. I would advise myself to act the same whether people were watching or not. To not fall into the trap of putting on an act because it is tiring as well as isolating. Be free and I can guarantee you your friends will still love you and you will have crazy times together.

Treat Guys Right

It took me until I was probably fifteen to realized that I should not consider every non related guy in my life as part of Could Be My Future Husband Club. I was not one of those girls who was scared to talk to guys. Which if you are (or are a guy afraid of girls) don’t be! Because the opposite sex is fantastic and co-ed platonic relationships are some of the most prosperous experiences that will come out of young life.

Just like you don’t enjoy being held up to an unrealistic standard the young men around you do not like being told that they are only worthy of love if they are six foot with abs of steal.

Also remember guys are not a piece of meat! As girls we don’t get the lectures about respecting bodies. It is not right for you to judge a guy on his weight or his face or to trash talk guys whose voices haven’t dropped or have lots of acne. Neither is it correct to objectify guys who aren’t wearing shirts or even celebrities who are really easy on the eyes. Just like you don’t enjoy being held up to an unrealistic standard the young men around you do not like being told that they are only worthy of love if they are six foot with abs of steal.

On the matter of objectifying, if it makes you uncomfortable when people point out certain parts of your body. Or even if it doesn’t make you uncomfortable, still consider that it might make guys uncomfortable to point out their body. If you are gossiping with your friends, than think if I wouldn’t say this to him than I shouldn’t say it.

Rather make an effort for  all the guys around you to make them feel appreciated and worthy in ways that have nothing to do with attraction. Compliment them on their traits, on their faith, on their actions and when they make an effort to look nice acknowledge it with class (older me will appreciate you using the word dapper in these cases).

It Is Better To Tell Him ‘No’ Outright

I was so afraid to bruise guys that I broke guys’ hearts. I never wanted to cross guys off my list or to hurt them so I would just trail them along never making my feelings clear and in time they would develop stronger feelings and I would have to break it to them that they are just my friend. Let me tell you something younger self, you are only going to like four guys before reaching adulthood and none of them are going to work out. So if you aren’t sure or the answer is no then tell him that! It will save him a lot of hurt and will keep you from feeling like a heartless jerk.

Don’t Be Afraid To Express or Listen 

I learned valuable lessons on viewpoints by simply listening to people of other perspectives. This is not listening in order to attack the other’s viewpoint but rather in the words of Harper Lee “to crawl into someone’s else skin and look around” and really attempt to understand their life through them. It is an incredible experience. On the point of expressing yourself, it is healthy to talk about your opinions whether they are simple observations or thoughts on seemingly ‘meaningless’ subjects or a central belief of yours that has to do with a controversial subject.

This is why I am began this blog when I was sixteen so that I could express myself and my beginning posts are not only poorly written and are truly blunt.But have some of the most sensitive subjects I have ever written about on here such as: racism, prostitution and porn, criticism of the church, mental health, anti feminism and immortality in the first month I was a blogger. Because I needed to express myself. But I should have expressed myself  when I was ten or even younger and not have waited until I was sixteen!

Don’t Waste Time Being Jealous

I was always envious of people for things I could not change mostly and I was ashamed of this jealousy thus never told me but I fed it still. I was jealous of dumb things like why I could post a pretty picture and get like three likes and someone could post a picture of them rolling out of bed and get like 50 plus. But I realize all that jealousy was fed by my insecurities. Rather than wasting my time basing my worth in life by whether someone commented a typical response on facebok, I could have been doing more productive things.

Make Good Habits Now

Whether these habits consist of watching youtube and netflix or staying up to 3am it has not helped me in post secondary. I am not saying that  ‘non-social’ behaviours are always a bad habits. For I have always enjoyed curling up and reading and writing all day and I don’t regret these hours. But I do regret ‘wasting’ valuable time on things that are not beneficial. For instance, all those personality quizzes did nothing to enhance my life.

Secondly, I will be the first to tell you that I hate having a schedule but that doesn’t mean that it is not a very wise decision that I highly recommend. So please remember, little me to invest in good study habits, in good ways of taking time alone with yourself and God. And with all the busyness, do not forget to spend quality time with others and if you would have done this I would have thanked you.

There is plenty more things that I wish I could tell my adolescent self. But let let me know what you think of this list if you are an adolescent or not. Have a fantastic day!

 

 

 

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